scratching post

so the week ended with an asshole comment... "it seems i'm everybody's scratching post"

it is so superficial, seems unreal even. you have a friend who bitches about another. and you have the other bitching bout the other. so they are bitching about one another. it makes you think, so when they get together, they bitch about me. so that makes sense right? hmm... oh well. it's funny to me.

another thing that strikes me this week is how shy and sappy you can get when u really really like somebody. geezzz

and today takes me on a wild ride thinking about my team. last semester i was a total jerk + bitch for getting on everybody's throat. this semester, i made sure i am not emotionally challenged. i think i managed well. i see my fellow mates coming to practice and scramble for the ball. wow, i said. so i put in as much as i could... n trying to be a team player, i didnt get mad at ppl, i just say it nicely. it works so much better. funny thing is, people cant do the same. not saying im good or nything, but i dont think i'm too good of a team player. i dont deserve any coaxing or any uplifting comments... ppl just leave. wow, i said. wow.

n tonight, i have to go to a meeting for my class and i have to see this guy. i made this guy hate me... not deliberately though. how can i make this guy mad at me 3 times in a semester? wow, i said. nawaal bebeh, i think i'll hold the B now.. make that a capital B and bolded and underlined.

sheesh.. this week ends.